UPROOTING SHYNESS AND FEAR

If you think you're shy, you might be lying to yourself. It might be a lie
you've told yourself for SO LONG that you've started believing it to be true.
Shyness will kill your chances with women every time, and is almost impossible
to overcome, but your challenge may not actually be shyness, and it may have a
simple solution. I'll explain.

Many guys who suffer from shyness believe that there is something charming and
earnest about their shyness.

Many shy guys believe that they are shy because they don't want to impose on
others.

Other shy guys believe they are doing a service to others by not bothering
people.

some shy guys are shy because they are afraid of people finding out that they
are weird, when in fact they are normal, flawed humans.

There are a few problems with these beliefs.

Shyness is usually only found to be an endearing trait of CHILDREN, not MEN.

Even though a shy man may not want to impose upon or bother others, he can be
PERCEIVED by others as being distant, out-of-control, untrustworthy, selfish, or
worse.

Here's a quote that sums it up:

“To be shy is to have one's actions (or lack of them) misunderstood,
misinterpreted and misread by others. An extreme fear of the pain of
anxiety prevents the shy person from taking the kinds of action that are
in accordance with his or her values, wishes, knowledge and rational
judgment. More simply put, shyness inhibits people from assuming a
sense of responsibility for their behavior. It makes them feel and truly
believe that they are not in the "driver's seat" of their own lives and
destinies." - Shyness & Love, Dr. Brian Gilmartin

I have some good news and bad news for you.

The bad news first. If you're shy, you might actually be a few other things
that are pretty ugly.

The good news is that shyness can become a non-issue by simply breaking it down
to its basic components and working directly on those issues.

So what are the components of shyness?

1. DISTRUST OF OTHERS. Somewhere in your mind, you believe that people are not
going to treat you well. You fear the unknown. You protect yourself from harm
by being distant, guarded, or remaining cut off from others.

How do others perceive you? Think about how YOU feel about people who don't
trust YOU. You don't like them very much, do you?

What would your life be like if you started to assume that women can't wait to
meet you and only want to treat you well? Don't you usually treat strangers
well?

Exercise - Ask the next 10 women you see on the street for directions. Watch
how the majority of them do their best to help you.

Find ways to get to know the world as an overwhelmingly friendly place.

2. SELFISHNESS. Your personality, unique talents, and company is the greatest
gift you have to offer the world. Shy people hoard these things for fear they
won't be accepted or good enough or worse yet, they would 'run out' and have
nothing left to share with the world.

Exercise - GIVE YOURSELF AWAY. Find a way to donate/volunteer your talents
(whether you are a carpenter, computer geek, or CEO). Doing so will show you
that the more you give, the more you are comfortable with what you have to
offer, and the more you have to give.

A lot of advice on the subject of shyness encourages people to just stop being
shy and just get out there. Most guys need a more structured, specific strategy.

Here is a killer way for to break through shyness: Become fascinated by others.

I don't mean for you to shower women with attention, but just be inquisitive
about the details of their behavior and motives.

Be curious about the things they do, the simple little things they say, the things they wear,
why they do, say, and wear them, and everything else.

Ask 5 new women where they got a certain piece of jewelry/clothing they are
wearing and why. Don't try to get their phone numbers. Just watch how happy
they are to tell you.

Ask 5 women you already know what their greatest challenges are, and what
activities they find most rewarding, and why. Don't try to get their phone numbers, and
don't try to find out what the two of you have in common. Keep the subject of
the conversation on THEM. Then tell them YOURS.

You
"Why are you smiling so brightly today?"

She
"because I'm going to/I just did/I'm thinking about xyz today"

You
"Really? So what is it about xyz that you like?"

She
"Blah, blah"

then bust on her...

You
"Interesting - but you know what they say about girls who like xyz. Its a
common indicator of chronic nerdiness."

She
Laughing

You
"Hmm - This has been fun.....kind of." Give her a smirk, pull out your phone and
start typing while saying out loud "What's your number - 2-0-6...." and don't be
surprised when she completes the sentence.

Get yourself on the fast track to success with women. Get my audio program FEAR: Gone in 60 Seconds. Its packed with the easiest ways to accelerate your acquisition of the most attractive qualitiy a man can have: CONFIDENCE.

Be fearless, and you'll be wildly successful with women.

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