HESITATING?
When you hesitate to talk to a woman, what are you really
doing?
1. You are giving in to fear of the unknown.
2. You are attached to the outcome of your interactions
with women.
3. You are throwing gasoline on the the 'fear' fire.
4. You are sabotaging your future.
1. By hesitating, you are responding to a fear that you
have no idea what will
happen if you start a conversation with a strange woman.
She might reject you,
she might have a boyfriend, she might ignore you....anything
could happen.
One of my favorite books, Wealth 101 by Peter McWilliams
explains FEAR as the
energy to do something new.
Let me introduce you to someone who is fearless. His name
is Steven. He's a 1
month-old-baby. He does whatever he wants, and boldly explores
uncharted
territory because he's too inexperienced to have fears of
simple things like
interactions with people. You were like that once too. What
was it that caused
your fears? Steven practically DOUBLES his knowledge of
the world EVERY DAY
because he is fearless.
EXERCISE - If some single experience caused you to fear
women, what one
experience could you give yourself that would eliminate
that fear?
The next time you have a positive interaction with a new
woman (if that's hard
for you, make it simple like asking her opinion of your
shirt, or the time of
day, or whatever) take the results of that interaction and
try to believe that
THAT is how every woman will treat you. Make that positive
outcome the
prejudicial belief that arises in your mind before you speak
with every women.
2. Let go of your attachment to outcome. You can't control
the world, Dr. Evil.
If you are not interacting with women because it is important
to you that the
interaction go WELL, you've got to let go of that. Perhaps
you're doing it
because if she rejects you, you'll believe that her rejection
MEANS that you are
less of a man.
When a woman responds negatively or not at all to you,
it means that she isn't
interested, she's having a bad day, she's gay, or she has
bad taste. Her
response says NOTHING about you.
EXERCISE - next time a woman doesn't respond to you the
way you would have
liked. Remember that it says nothing about you.
Change your definition of SUCCESS WITH WOMEN from 'being
able to get whatever
you want from any woman' to 'being able to approach any
woman.' Don't wait for
her response to your approach to decide whether or not it
was a successful
interaction. You're a success just by walking up.
The crazy side effect of your new definition of success
is that when you start
believing it, you will start getting farther than you ever
imagined possible.
3. A dating guru named Juggler once described fear as fire
and time as oxygen.
Or something like that. I love that because it accurately
describes the way
fear of approaching works.
You see the woman, then you feel the fear, and then the
longer you wait, the
more the fear builds, until you are completely engulfed.
You're a wussy
inferno.
Don't let the fire catch. Approach fast. Some say within
3 seconds. I just
say do it soon, or you'll seem a little creepy standing
over there trying to
figure out the perfect thing to say. The best one is 'hi.'
Works in every
situation, with every women. It may or may not lead you
anywhere you're looking
to go, but at least you won't be a raging, flaming wuss
over in the corner.
4. Sabotaging your future. Hesitation will leave you wondering
what would have
happened IF you didn't hesitate for the rest of your life.
And that's a crappy
way to live.
What to say after 'hi'? This is where it gets fun.
Get yourself on the fast track to success with women.
Get my audio program FEAR:
Gone in 60 Seconds. Its packed with
the easiest ways to accelerate your acquisition of the most
attractive qualitiy a man can have: CONFIDENCE.
Be
fearless, and you'll be wildly successful with women.
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